Chattanooga Whiskey Experimental Batch Alpha: Intergalactic Comet Crusher

Proof: 84 proof

Mash Bill: Classified

Tasting notes: Like having your brains smashed out by a bag of lemons dipped in 42 karat gold 

About the product: In the summer of 2015, a craft of unknown origin crash-landed on the roof of the Chattanooga Whiskey Experimental Distillery. Among the wreckage: a malfunctioning android, blueprints for an intergalactic highway (straight through Earth—don’t panic!), and a glowing green bottle labeled: “Intergalactic Comet Crusher”

Unable to resist, their distillers took one sip and unanimously agreed it was the best drink in existence. Now, after 10 years of top-secret reverse engineering (and some light time travel), they officially declassify and disclose this extraordinary spirit to the universe.